Please Stay Tuned… Catch Up and Mustard

Post written by Monica Gaylor.

Please stay tuned for a word from your sponsor.  We interrupt this regularly scheduled message with an important update on the search for Waldie (a.k.a. Monica).

This is K. T. Frog coming to you live from T*%&^*, A~.  It is day 60 in the “Where is Waldie?” story.

Police have ruled out foul play in the disappearance of Waldie.  Sergeant Pepper, spokesperson for the T*%&^* Police Department, said today in a lengthy interview, that the following scenarios have been ruled out:

Waldie has not…

  • been abducted by aliens (although after a thorough search of Waldie’s house and the resulting confiscation of nine big boxes of suspicious “sci-fi” paraphernalia the police have concluded that were this the case, Waldie would have gone willingly with the aliens)
  • fallen off a cliff or the planet (respectively, regarding the former, all small cliffs and medium ledged bottoms in the immediate vicinity have been checked for red-headed body debris and regarding the latter, the earth’s gravitational pull makes this scenario improbable even though reports indicate in her teenage years Waldie was quite the air-head)
  • been eaten by dinosaurs (explanation self-explanatory)
  • been kidnapped and held for ransom (the police have ruled out this possibility because no ransom demand has been made thus far and Waldie’s continuing babbling about sci-fi matters and meditation “oomming” would surely have driven any alleged kidnappers to demand a return for a different model – at the very least)
  • gone to spy school (a thorough investigation of all U. S. White and Black Op agencies has been completed, Sergeant Pepper would not delve further into this matter)
  • been shrunken down to minuscule size by a mad scientist (all mad scientists, happy scientists, and university theoretical physicists have been vetted – but only state wide, and furthermore, if Waldie had been shrunken and running around her house she surely would have been squashed by police or eaten by dust bunnies by this time)

Sergeant Pepper went on to explain that the following scenarios have not been ruled out:

It is in the realm of possibilities that Waldie could be…

  • “lost” or blissfully wandering through the vast desert that surrounds our city (it was ascertained by police that in Waldie’s youth she underwent intensive desert-survival and cowgirl training, thus the police believe that it is improbable she would be “lost” in the desert and more probable that she would be “hanging out” having a small vacation riding the abandoned horses that now make their home in the surrounding desert – however, this reporter would like to add that Waldie’s friends and family vehemently reject this theory stating Waldie’s love of long daily showers and her rejection of anything icky, smelly, and unpleasant)
  • on “Walkabout” anywhere in the continental USA (police have ruled out Canada and Mexico as Waldie’s passport was found to be in her house, but Waldie’s car continues to elude police)
  • globe trotting with some wealthy man she met on any of her 4 internet dating sites (police believe she could pass international borders without ID if flying on the planes of wealthy powerful sci-fi geeks that have “connections”, APB’s have been put out on Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, Leonard Nimoy, Bill Gates, and sadly the APB on Steve Jobs was politely and apologetically cancelled, and further APB’s have been put out on any tall, handsome, highly-educated, sci-fi geeks, wearing glasses who do not smoke or drink and like to travel – the police admit that the latter is a bit vague and could take some time, thus this scenario has not been ruled out)
  • holed up in a remote cabin somewhere with no internet, phone service, or television reception working on that sci-fi novel she was always talking about or painting and sculpting to her hearts content (intensive interviews with the family and friends of Waldie have lead police to believe this to be the most likely of scenarios and have released this picture to all remote police departments, grocery stores, and diners – as Waldie was never that into cooking)

This is K. T. Frog on day 60 hoping for the safe return of Waldie. 

The Real Catch Up (There is no Mustard.)

Ok. So it’s not all that dramatic.  I have been recuperating from surgery.  Well, actually it was 2 surgeries.  Three weeks into recuperating from the first surgery, my stitches broke open and I had to go back in for emergency surgery.  (Ok.  That part was a little dramatic and exciting.)  I am back at work now and completely inundated with many weeks worth of grading, paperwork, emails, and other “teacher stuff” to catch up on – but without my usual amount of energy.  This is why I never call in sick (usually).  Anyway – I hope to be writing more posts for my blog very soon.  I miss it and all of you who click to read the latest.

Please stay tuned. More content coming soon. Thank you.  Monica


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